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Word Definitions The Washington Post recently published a contest in which the readers were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. The following were some entries: Flabbergasted: (adj.) appalled over how much weight you've gained. Abdicate: (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade: (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk. Negligent: (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph: (v.) to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle: (n.) an olive-flavoured mouthwash. Bustard: (n.) a very rude Metrobus driver. Coffee: (n.) a person who is coughed upon. Flatulence: (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash: (n.) a rapidly receding hairline. Oyster: (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Frisbatarianism: (n.) the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there . Semantics: (n.) pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including gluing the priest's prayer book just before vespers.